“Swampscott Dory,” oil on canvas, by William Partridge Burpee, 1891.
I grow old
and weigh more.
Loss accumulates
in flesh and bone.
At twenty-something, running races
to snatch trophies at the finish line,
nothing remained in my lungs—
not even air. And if I woke
as night uncovered the dead,
I laughed, giddy at the sight
of ghosts unpacking belongings—
a fishing vest hung in the closet,
pearl earrings beside the bed.
I knew by dawn their possessions
would be gone: but mid-morning
scents of Youth Dew and Old Spice
still haunted my lungs.
Some nights my dead father
baits his fishing hook and casts
himself into rivers of my dreams.
I feel him tugging at the line.
At fifty, the weight of loss
compresses disks and vertebrae.
The load at eighty must be
unbearable.
If you doubt that
loss weighs on you now,
dig up October’s chrysanthemum
crack open a root
and smell the heavy scent
of yellow blossoms
in the dust.
An Associate Professor of English at Tulsa Community College (TCC) for nearly twenty years, Sarah Stecher has championed the promotion of poetry in her creative writing classes, area poetry readings, contests, and community-sponsored fundraising events. Former co-editor of the College’s literary journal Outside the Lines, she organized, judged, and hosted the annual Creative Writing Contest for TCC students and area high school students for over ten years. Her work has been published in the Nimrod International Journal and other publications sponsored by Tulsa libraries and Oklahoma’s higher education institutions.
